Caution- Majestic Mollusc is Not for Snails
by Wumbo-Girl 1314
Summary: When Gary consumes recalled snail food, his life is accidentally altered. But when near tragedy strikes after a huge fight with SpongeBob, can Gary make amends with his friend before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well, this is a weird idea I came up with during exams. I hope you enjoy reading!

...

"La-da-dee, la-da du, la-da-dum!" SpongeBob SquarePants hummed cheerfully one evening after yet another busy shift at the Krusty Krab. He was rummaging around in his cupboards for some snail food to give to his pet snail, Gary.

"Mr-row!"

"It's okay, little buddy- I'll find you some food soon." SpongeBob assured, though he was starting to feel a little nervous by this point. A hungry Gary was not a happy Gary, and he didn't want a not- happy Gary, because he would usually chew furniture and eat things that were NOT MEANT FOR SNAILS!

"Heh, heh...hey, Gare, how does a walk sound to you right now?" The poriferan asked at last, praying to Neptune Gary wouldn't find out the truth.

"Meow,"

 _Barnacles..._

"Okay, fine, you got me!" SpongeBob threw up his hands in annoyance. "I forgot to stock up on Snail-Po, and now we've run out."

"Mr-row..."

SpongeBob felt pangs of guilt sting his pores as his snail yowled in hunger- in perfect harmony to Gary's tummy rumbling.

"Aww...you really are hungry, pal," SpongeBob cooed, petting Gary's shell sympathetically. "Here, I'll tell you what"- He fished in his pocket and pulled out a handful of snail treats, to which Gary's eyes widened. "You can have these now, and then you can walk it off, okay?" He offered, placing them into Gary's food bowl.

"Meow, meow," Gary mewed, and slithered over to gobble them up.

SpongeBob fetched Gary's lead whilst this was going on- and mindful of the colder weather, grabbed his red coat and green hat usually reserved for his 3AM sesame seed counting voyages, and slipped them on, as well as a long, white, blue and yellow scarf his beloved grandmother had knitted him as a Christmas present last year.

"C'mon, Gary!" He called out jovially.

...

Later, the two were heading down the street- but Gary still hungry and cross with his master and best friend. As a result, the walk to Barg'N – Mart for some more Snail Po was silent and awkward.

"Listen, I just wanna say I'm sorry for not getting more Snail-Po, Gary." SpongeBob said at last, breaking the ice between them at last. "

"Meow, mr-row!" Gary yowled, causing a lady fish walking her worm to stop in her tracks and glare at SpongeBob as he passed by.

"I say, it sounds as though you're starving your poor snail," She said suspiciously, glaring down her half- moon glasses at the poriferan. "I hope that isn't the case, young man..." she added warningly.

"No, no- most certainly not, ma'am!" SpongeBob protested in shock. "I'm just on my way to get snail food for my Gary right now!"

"Mr-row, mr-row!" Gary yowled- both from increasing hunger and from the fact that SpongeBob had unwittingly revealed something that could potentially be viewed as animal cruelty. Hopefully, she didn't decide to have reported to the authorities.

"Well, we best get going! Good evening, ma'am!" SpongeBob said cheerfully, and set off with Gary once again, leaving the strange lady behind.

"I've got my eye on you..." She hissed ominously, before she disappeared behind a newspaper that an anchovy passer-by was reading.

...

Later, SpongeBob arrived at Barg'N-Mart and, after leaving Gary tied up to a bike rack outside with his scarf to keep him cosy, he went in to find some Snail-Po.

"Getting some Snail-Po for my Gare Bear! Getting my Gare something to..." But he couldn't see any Snail- Po anywhere.

"Eat..." he trailed off. He checked again, then twice over. "Oh barnacles!" He muttered to himself, putting his hands in his coat pockets before pulling out a small photograph.

It was of him and Gary in their youth, eating Grandma SquarePants' most delicious cookies. His grandma was there too- with a huge, loving smile on her face, as the photo had been taken at her house.

SpongeBob smiled fondly. He often took this photo round with him. He held it close to his heart for a brief moment before putting it away to seek out an alternative brand of snail food for Gary.

"Just to last until I can get Snail- Po for Gary again." He said to himself. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

He scanned the shelves again- and decided to pick a can of a snail food brand called _'Majestic Mollusc- Food for Snails, Scallops, Bivalves -and Octopi!'_

"Hey, this sounds fancy! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad..."The poriferan said, and he skipped along to the checkout to pay for four cans of _'Majestic Mollusc-Food for Snails, Scallops, Bivalves- and Octopi!'_


	2. Chapter 2

"La, la, la-oof!" SpongeBob's humming was cut short by a quick tumble caused by a strange buffer of sorts-

"Hey watch where you're going!" A familiar voice huffed rudely, whirling round quickly to reveal one of SpongeBob's neighbours, Squidward Q. Tentacles.

"Sorry, Squidward- you okay?" SpongeBob asked sheepishly.

"I'm fine- what, did you think that you running into my back was going to cause some life or death situation?!" Squidward asked sarcastically.

"Squidward...I'm so sorry! It was nice knowing you, buddy..." SpongeBob sniffled over the thought of killing his beloved neighbour and friend with such a simple mishap.

"Shut up, you loggerhead loofah!" Snapped Squidward. "I'm fine! I'm not going to die for a long, long time...unfortunately."

"Oh, that's great, buddy!" Whooped the sponge. "Say, what brings you to the Barg'N-Mart, Squidward?" He asked curiously, spying Squidward's shopping basket.

"That's none of your business, SpongeBob!" The cephalopod reprimanded, straightening his shirt. "Now, if you'll excuse me, SpongeBob, I have shopping to finish."

With that, Squidward stalked off, leaving SpongeBob to pay for his snail food.

...

The walk home was a bit better for Gary and SpongeBob, as they ended up talking on the way home. "Isn't it a beautiful evening, Gare?" SpongeBob asked dreamily, gazing up at the purple- blue sky.

"Meow,"

"Yeah...you know what; we should take more walks around this time- though I'll make sure we don't have to stop for snail food again, pal." The poriferan added, petting Gary's shell affectionately by means of apology. "C'mon- let's go home and get you fed."

"Meow, meow!"

With that, the pair set off for Conch Street, both unaware of what would lay ahead for them over the next few hours...

...

"Come and get it, Gare Bear!" SpongeBob called perkily, tipping the 'Majestic Mollusc' food into Gary's bowl. With a happy meow, Gary slithered over to his bowl – and reeled. It wasn't Snail Po- but he was too hungry to care much now.

As the snail scarfed down his slop, he felt his stomach grumbling again- this time, though, it wasn't hunger.

He also felt dizzy and tired, which was strange- normal snail food didn't do that to snails. Maybe he was coming down with something? He hoped so- at least illness could be shaken off, no matter how awful it was.

Deciding to take a nap and sleep it off, Gary slithered over to the kitchen table and went under it, before settling down to sleep near his master's seat. He hoped he'd feel better in the morning. And that SpongeBob didn't disturb him.

...

Meanwhile, SpongeBob had fallen asleep in the living room and was dozing peacefully, his tiny mewling snores wafting round the living room.

The TV was still switched on, on a horror movie that the poriferan had been watching, when the television flickered to reveal Elaine the news fish.

"Attention all pet owners; we interrupt this vampire sucking blood for an important announcement. The snail food brand 'Majestic Mollusc' has been recalled due to fears of contamination. If you have this brand of snail food in your house which hasn't been consumed by your snail, return it immediately! If your pet has consumed it, take them to the vet immediately!"


	3. Chapter 3

The sun shone in through the living room window, causing SpongeBob to rouse from his sleep.

"Hm? Oh, I must have fallen asleep watching TV again!" He said to himself sheepishly, blushing. "Well, I better feed Gary and get out to work- I wonder where he is?"

SpongeBob got out of his chair and went into the kitchen to begin his search- no Gary. He couldn't see him in the living room either, so he went upstairs, calling Gary's name.

"Gary! Gary! Chow time!" He called out as he made his way to his bedroom- only to find that Gary wasn't there, either.

"Gare? You in here? But Gary wasn't in the bathroom, either.

"Not sure why I even bothered with this room." SpongeBob muttered to himself as he closed the door. "Gary the Snail, if you can hear me, answer me! I haven't got time for your games- I'll be late for work!"

But he still couldn't see his pet anywhere- and then, just as he was going to go and shower and change into some clean, unwrinkled pants, the thought occurred to him. He hadn't checked the library yet!

"Gary loves the library! Gary!" SpongeBob called, certain that he had found his friend now. He skidded to a stop at his library door and threw it open before dashing inside "Good morning, Gary! Isn't it a beautiful-AHHH?!" He screamed in shock.

A purple robed stranger was sitting on a chair in the library, with a cup of tea and an empty plate beside him, reading the same book SpongeBob had seen Gary reading the night before. He looked up at the source of the scream and his eyes popped open when he saw SpongeBob standing there in shock.

"Ah, SpongeBob, I was hoping you could help me with my predicament." The stranger said. SpongeBob got into a karate stance almost immediately, and the uninvited guest frowned. "And I'd appreciate your lack of violence approach to problem solving, if you'd be so kind."

"...Gare Bear?" SpongeBob asked in disbelief, relaxing his frame. "Is that you?"

"I'm afraid so. I...ahem...woke up from under the kitchen table like this this morning, SpongeBob." Gary explained.

SpongeBob remembered how he once had- well, not he, but Gary- had had a dream in which they were conversing in a library- and now, for some inexplicable reason, Gary's dream had come true. Not that either of them had asked for this.

"Why were you under the kitchen table, Gary?"

"I felt unwell last night and I retreated there," The snail /human replied, rising from his seat and crossing over to SpongeBob, before placing his hand on SpongeBob's shoulder.

"Gosh, it's...it's a lot to take in," Said SpongeBob nervously. "I...I don't even know where to start with this."

"Nor do I, SpongeBob. But I do know that it better not start with you at the unemployment line again." Gary replied dryly.

"Oh Neptune! I'm late for work!" SpongeBob exclaimed in a panic, realising both the meaning behind Gary's words and the time.

"I phoned Mr. Krabs and told him you might be late, as you'd slept in." Gary replied. "I merely pretended I was still my usual non-vocal self in order to do so."

"Thanks, Gare! I'll see you after work! Sorry about your breakfast!" SpongeBob called out.

"That's alright- I had toast!" Gary replied. "I've left some ironed pants for you in the kitchen!" He added.

...

SpongeBob hurried to work- he was nearly forty minutes late, and he apologised sincerely to Mr. Krabs. His crustacean boss, although displeased, allowed SpongeBob to get to work without more repercussions than docked wages, aware that the lad's shame was enough to avoid another late arrival.

SpongeBob worked hard, as usual, cleaning up messes and cooking Krabby Patties, all whilst thinking about what had happened to Gary. He knew they would have to talk about it sooner or later, as it would mean making arrangements to accommodate Gary and his new form for the time being.

By the time lunchtime had arrived, SpongeBob was starving- as he forgot to get breakfast for himself that morning. So he made himself a Krabby Patty to eat for his lunch- he'd paid extra money for the ingredients used whilst he spoke to Mr. Krabs, and he started to feel better as he sat down to eat it.

...

Squidward didn't know what was going on with his co-worker- but he loved it. SpongeBob was too busy thinking of something else to talk to him excessively about how much he loved the Krusty Krab, and he even stopped with the unwelcome hugs and kisses that the cephalopod usually – and grudgingly- received on a daily basis.

The cashier was aware that, being SpongeBob, this would probably blow over sooner than he'd like, so he decided to make the most of the peace and quiet. He flopped down behind the cash register, flipped open 'Dance Quarterly' and read it, imagining himself in the glossy, beautiful pictures of that magazine, instead of being stuck in a dump, drooling over dreams of non-drudgery.


End file.
